It has taken me many tries to write a post about Faye's birth. However, every time I sit down to write Faye wakes up and realizes she is not being cuddled and I hear about it. But tonight, with the help of her pacifier, soft blanket and Enya playing I think I may have a few minutes to write of it. So I am sure it will be somewhat short and not come close to capturing the beauty of the moment, but I will try!
So as my previous post said, my doctor brought up inducing my labor, and on April 7th Ghent and I woke up early and anxiously rushed to the hospital for the scheduled 6 am inducement. No one was expecting things to progress quickly since I was no where close to going into labor, so we were all planning on a very long weekend. But I really wanted my parents there so I called and asked them to come anyway knowing that things might not happen right away. But I really wanted my mom there during the birth. I was given a pill at 9 am which was to help start contractions and if that did not work after 24 hours then I was to go on Pitocin the next morning.
Fast forward to 12 o'clock my contractions were beginning, and my nurse was horrible!! She would not stop talking and was telling me labors horror stories and breast feeding horror stories and going on and on about her daughter. I was getting uncomfortable and trying to focus on my breathing, and resisting the urge to tell her to shut the H-Bomb up.
Jumping forward to 3 pm I was in full labor, what my doctor called "hyper labor". Meaning my contractions were off the chart and I wasn't having any breaks between contractions. So I was going from one insanely hard contraction directly into the next. Which floored me because my birth class said we would have a couple minutes between contractions to prepare for the next one, but I wasn't getting a break and that nurse was not shutting up and I was still trying to be polite to her, but she was making it impossible to focus on breathing and trying to block out the pain.
By 6 pm my parents arrived but I was hanging on to my hospital bed for dear life and sobbing into my pillow, already completely exhausted. My doctor came in and encouraged me to get an epidural since I was hardly dilating. And he voiced his concerns that since Faye had still not dropped and I had been in hard labor for a while that she might be too big to go through my pelvis and that eventually if she still hadn't dropped a C-section might be necessary. I told him (through snot and tears) that I didn't need an epidural and that if the time came and I needed a C-section that was fine, but I wanted to keep trying. My parents urged me to get the epidural after my doctor left, and Ghent even encouraged me to get the epidural as well. We had never heard of "hyper labor" before and it was so intense, I think for all of us. So finally I listened and called my doctor back in and asked for the epidural. Almost 10 minutes after I got the epidural I could feel nothing! It was great. And then my blood pressure dropped dangerously low and then I was hooked up to oxygen and then tons of nurses were coming into my room and trying to shift my body into different positions to help raise my blood pressure, I was given medication to raise my blood pressure, but nothing was working. And then Faye's heart rate began to drop because my blood pressure was just too low. So my doctor informed me I needed an emergency C-section because they needed to get her out of me asap, and he still feared she was too big to come out on her own anyway. So I was wheeled down to the surgery room and Ghent followed, but my parents had to wait in the room. Since I had just been given and epidural I didn't need more drugs apparently and they began cutting into my stomach. That was the weirdest feeling ever, because it didn't hurt, but you could feel their hands inside of you pushing things around. When the Doc finally cut open my uterus we heard "WOW, that is a BIG head!!" and at that moment, my epidural wore off. And it hurt so bad. And the doctor did not make the incision big enough because he wasn't expecting such a big baby. Ghent said he had a hold of her and was pulling on her with all of his strength and she was not coming out easily. And during all this baby tugging I was crying out that it hurt and the anesthesiologist was rushing drugs into my IV. But it took a while for the drugs to kick in and I felt them pull her body from mine and felt them get to work on cleaning out my uterus and I remember looking at Ghent who had an expression of extreme happiness mixed with extreme worry as he looked back and forth between Faye and me not knowing who to stay with. So I told him to go with Faye and he took off while slowly the drugs started kicking in and the pain went from intense to dull to nothing. And I woke up a couple of times while they stitched me back up, but I don't remember much. But I did wake up for good right before they finished, however I was so drugged and slow, I had no idea what was going on and all I could think about was if my baby Faye was ok, because all I remember of seeing her was purple feet. The anesthesiologist went and checked on her after apologizing like crazy for what happened and came back with excellent news! Baby Faye was perfectly healthy and weighed an amazingly large 9 lbs 12 oz.
Faye was born at 8:11 pm on April 7th and I got to finally see her an hour after her birth. Since I was still heavily drugged I don't remember much of our first meeting, other than they placed her on my chest and she eagerly latched on to my chest instantly and all I could think about was how big she was and how loud her scream was. I couldn't tell what she looked like because I couldn't get my eyes to focus on her little body, let alone her face. But Ghent told me she was beautiful and he filled me in on what happened while I was out. He looked so proud and so happy to be her dad. And that is all I really remember...Ghent has told me more about what happened in the operating room, but it was mostly embarrassing to hear as it involved a lot of me sobbing about how much it hurt, then a lot of my being totally drugged and asking the nurses the most random questions that he said didn't even make sense. And I guess one of the nurses thought I was stupid cause she started talking really loud and incredibly slow to me. Which I do vaguely remember that and being slightly insulted. But eventually the drugs wore off and I could focus on my little beautiful baby and take in how precious she was. And I remember looking at her and crying once again, not in pain but in love and joy. She meant everything to me in that moment and I knew I would do anything for her.
While her birth story may not sound pleasant, it's funny because I remember the facts but I can hardly remember the pain, and all I can remember about that day is how happy I was. It was such a beautiful and spiritual day for me that I can't help but document it as one of the most beautiful moments in my life...the day I met my daughter.
So that is her birth story, and surprisingly she is still sleeping...
As for my recovery, I am doing amazing!! The first week hurt like a bugger and I had to ask for a lot of help from Ghent and my parents, but only 2 weeks after her birth I am off the painkillers and back to my normal energy and activity with little to no pain. And since it's now 3 weeks after her birth, I am trying to get a little exercise in, and I love, LOVE being a mom. Faye is seriously the best baby ever and we are all sleeping through the night. She is still big, in fact at her 2 week check-up she weighed 10 lbs 6 oz and was in the 95th percentile for height and weight. They are estimating she will be off the charts at her 2 month check-up. Crazy. And my doctor just laughs because he was not expecting her to be so big and you can't help but smile when you see those cheeks. Ghent and I are completely in love with her and every night we just stare at her, the beautiful little miracle and blessing that she is, and we can't believe how blessed we truly are.