But secretly I love my big belly. It reminds me of my little baby and how happy I am to be a mom in the next 5ish months. It would be great if my butt quit spreading. I'm having a tough time adjusting to my ba-donk-a-donk.
On a totally different topic, there are things that are so hard right now. Things that make me want to curl up in my closet amongst my shoes and hibernate until they pass. I'm not talking the average drama of life, I am talking about something so gut-wrenching, terrifying, depressing, confusing, and hopeless, ect. you get the hint. And it is just so hard to deal with, even without the raging hormones that threaten to crumble my facade of bubbling joy. Am I happy? I am so so happy and excited, but there is this state of limbo, uncertainty, frustration, and hurt that I just can't get past. Not until the situation passes. And this situation has been going on for such a long time now, at first I was patient and hopeful, now I am upset and running out of hope. I have been praying constantly that this trial will lesson, that I can have more hope, or just to let it be over. Yet it gets worse and worse as time goes on. I'm wondering if my constant prayers are not being heard. And that is all about the situation I care to go into at this point. But if this were just some anonymous blog with no pictures, or names it would be great to write about everything going on. But it's not, and so much is said without really saying anything.
To end on a HAPPY note: I am grateful for the blessings I do have.For example, I have an amazing supportive family, a tiny growing baby whom I already love with all my heart, one prissy fur-baby full of love and cuddles, and I have an amazing husband who loves me despite my camel curves, wicked witch hormonal tendencies and pregnancy gas.
And I know things will eventually work themselves out and when they do I will be so grateful for that.
No comments:
Post a Comment