Waiting...

For this:

It's been a month now. And this beached whale it tired of sitting upright in computer chairs, I need to lounge and let my belly flop to the side. But it's going to be a few more weeks because this couch's company hasn't got their shipping department down yet, it has been stuck "in transit" for a week in New Jersey, then moved to Indiana where it got stuck for over a week "in transit" but they tell me not to worry because it will be here...soon. Soon my ass. So hormonal beached whale kinda flipped a lid on the little customer service representative. My bad. It's just that it was supposed to be here by today at the latest...but it's not even to the halfway point...not even close. I'm going to have my baby by the time that thing shows up. But the couch? I LOVE the couch. Dislike the throw pillows, but that can be easily changed.

Speaking of baby. I almost flipped a lid on my doc the other day. At 36.5 weeks prego he tells me that baby Faye hasn't dropped yet. That was news to me cause it feels like a bowling ball is sitting on my cervix. I have been telling anyone that will listen I am having her any day now...then doc tells me she is low, but there is no droppage. Which means no impending birth in the next couple days. I must have had a strange look on my face cause he legit just laughed and says "You are only 36 weeks! She could be in there for a while still" The Efffff she is.

She really needs to come soon, I am getting severe postpartum and I am not even post. As in I have never EVER weighed this much in my life and it is freaking depressing me. I never thought I would mind the weight gain, because "I'm pregnant". However, I am minding, and I am crying almost daily because there is nothing I can do about it right now. And then I am scared that I when I can do something about it, it's going to be extreme again. I have been in "recovery" for 3 years now, maintained a healthy weight, a healthy mindset, but this kind of pregnant weight gain has shoved that healthy mindset down a flight of stairs that took 3 years to climb. But I swore to myself I would never let my children see me struggle with food because I never want them to go through what I went through. And even if Faye is going to be young and never remember mom crying over dinner, I still never want her to see it. So Mrs. Beached Whale needs to get her crap together and soon.