The Sweetest Thing.

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My little sleeping beauty. Those moments when we are privileged to see glimpses into our unborn child's life are magical. Her face is changing and she gets cuter every time I get to see her. Today was a treat because I wasn't supposed to have an ultrasound. But a couple of days ago we got some news that our little Faye might not be very healthy, and an emergency ultrasound was given.

Doc was a little worried her bladder was missing, either that or she had just peed. I wasn't too worried about a missing bladder though because chances were, she just peed; but her heart was beating pretty funny and they were afraid she had an electrical problem. So 2 days later we are back at the docs office getting a peep show of baby Faye. And she was photogenic today. 

Just in case you were wondering, she has a bladder! And thanks to lots of prayers her heart problem solved itself and she is healthy as can be. 

 

As for other happy news, the hubby got a new job in Oregon, so right after the holidays we are moving. Did I ever mention how much I completely love Oregon? I have always wanted to move there, so this is a relocation dream come true! And there is a PF Changs, DSW Shoes and a pretty decent mall. So I will be happy! Also I am going to teach myself how to quilt. I need a hobby like nobodies business. So I am starting off by making Faye's crib bedding, complete with a matching quilt. Ghent even helped me pick out the fabric the other day, so her room is going to be greens and yellows. I can't wait to get started on it, but I have to wait for my new sewing machine that Santa is going to bring me! ;) Ahem. *hint hint* 

Prayers are being answered left and right, and with the upcoming holiday season I can't help but just hug my belly, kiss my hubby and sing on the top of my lungs to overplayed Christmas songs. This is my favorite time of year! And feeling my baby dancing along to the tune inside of me, makes it that much sweeter.

I'm an AUNT! again. :)

But an aunt for the first time on my side of the family. My brother and his wife had the prettiest baby girl on November 22nd. And I got to watch it all...

I AM TERRIFIED OF GIVING BIRTH NOW!!!

Jane (my brother's wife) opted for an epidural at the beginning and literally napped through transition, she was so relaxed and comfy. Then when it was time to push, she pushed...and that was that. Well not really, cause I will spare anyone reading this the details. However, the lady in the room next to us went "la natural", like what I want to do, and you could seriously hear her screaming and sobbing. After "seeing" what she was going through, and hearing the pain associated with child birth I got SUPER scared. Cause in just 4-4.5 months, this lady is gonna be in the same boat...but the natural version, the screaming and sobbing version. And it is making that epidural look bloody tempting now. So I need to start prepping myself for some serious pain, as in start practicing my breathing and relaxation techniques so I don't wind up getting the epidural. Either way, I am so nervous now...

But my niece Ivy, is just beautiful and I already love her so much!

*however, I will have to try posting pictures later, because for some reason blogger is refusing to upload my pretty little niece. :(

It's a GIRL!! :)

Faye Victoria. 
20 weeks gestation in these photos, and I am pretty positive she is already adorable! She has another 4-5 months to just get cuter too. We can't wait to meet her and Daddy (Ghent) is already smitten with her!! She seriously amazes me...

Showing' some leg!

I am so in love.

BOY or GIRL?

I find out tomorrow morning!!

Last Night

Ghent, the husband, felt the baby kick for the first time ever. He was so excited!!! It gave him a good solid 3 kicks before calling it a night. I was stoked he felt it, I have been feeling so selfish bragging about how much it's been wiggling. I know he has been wanting to join in on the squirms and kicks, and last night, he finally got to! I've read that others shouldn't feel movement until after 20 weeks...yet we were only 18.5 weeks along. There must be a soccer player in there.

We went to a Gonzaga basketball game tonight, and they completely dominated. It was a good game, even if we knew the Zags would win before the game even began. And the night was finished off with PF Changs. It was seriously the best dinner I have had since being pregnant and it made me physically feel on top of the world. I think I could eat there every night for the next 5 months...baby likes PF Changs. Mongolian beef is my food fantasy. *drooool*

Holy Boobs Batman!

Cup size pre-pregnancy, A. Cup size 1/2 way through pregnancy, D. Yes, I said it, D. Yet surprisingly the belly still protrudes farther out that than the boobs...so that has to mean something. It means a trip to Motherhood Maternity. The very store I have been trying to avoid. Hello Motherhood, full panel pants, nursing bras, and belly shirts galore. All before I even know the gender. Not that gender is relevant to the color of bra I choose to purchase, or how much panel I want on my denims. It's just that I am only half way there yet I am wearing clothes that suggest otherwise...already!

But secretly I love my big belly. It reminds me of my little baby and how happy I am to be a mom in the next 5ish months. It would be great if my butt quit spreading. I'm having a tough time adjusting to my ba-donk-a-donk.

On a totally different topic, there are things that are so hard right now. Things that make me want to curl up in my closet amongst my shoes and hibernate until they pass. I'm not talking the average drama of life, I am talking about something so gut-wrenching, terrifying, depressing, confusing, and hopeless, ect. you get the hint. And it is just so hard to deal with, even without the raging hormones that threaten to crumble my facade of bubbling joy. Am I happy? I am so so happy and excited, but there is this state of limbo, uncertainty, frustration, and hurt that I just can't get past. Not until the situation passes. And this situation has been going on for such a long time now, at first I was patient and hopeful, now I am upset and running out of hope. I have been praying constantly that this trial will lesson, that I can have more hope, or just to let it be over. Yet it gets worse and worse as time goes on. I'm wondering if my constant prayers are not being heard. And that is all about the situation I care to go into at this point. But if this were just some anonymous blog with no pictures, or names it would be great to write about everything going on. But it's not, and so much is said without really saying anything.

To end on a HAPPY note: I am grateful for the blessings I do have.For example, I have an amazing supportive family, a tiny growing baby whom I already love with all my heart, one prissy fur-baby full of love and cuddles, and I have an amazing husband who loves me despite my camel curves, wicked witch hormonal tendencies and pregnancy gas.

And I know things will eventually work themselves out and when they do I will be so grateful for that.

I fell down the stairs.

Not the whole staircase, but a good half of it. There is this slight spiral staircase at the house I am sitting a poodle for, and when I was walking down it, I totally slipped. Landed hard on me bum and back and bump thumped the entire way down. I focused on my abdomen and realized I didn't whack it so baby should be fine. However, later that night I was not blessed with it's nudges, nor was I this morning. Which got me worried. So I called the doctor and they got me in right away. Pronto, they don't take falls lightly I guess. So Doc joked with me about being clumsy and falling down a  flight of stairs, and then pulled out the fetal Doppler to listen to my nudger's heartbeat. Except there wasn't one. There was nothing but the steady beat of my own heart, and with that my heart sank. The doctors face fell and he looked really worried. He spent a good 5 minutes searching for the heartbeat, but found nothing. My eyes were beginning to flood when he said we needed to do an emergency ultrasound...

He jellied up my belly and put that magical little wand below my bellybutton. Instantly I saw my little baby...I looked for the heart, I found it, I saw it was still beating and a let a huge breath escape my lips. Doc did too. He started smiling instantly and said everything looked great! He said he was really worried he was going to have to tell me my baby died.

So the baby is just fine! All I did was rock it's world a bit.

"Eh, Mom, please watch your step from now on, you clumsy scarecrow"

Unfortunately I did not get to take home a picture of my little rock star who scared the crap out of my today. But I did get to see it's little 16.5 week old body curled up comfortably in my womb, wiggling and stretching. I WAS SO RELIEVED!!!

There are some peeps out there who were wondering why I did not ask the Doc to take a sneaky peek between babies legs. Honestly, I didn't even think about it, all I could think about was it's beautiful little heart just ticking away. Anyway, hubby badly wants to be there when I go in for my anatomy scan on November 15th, so I could wait a few more weeks to call it a he or a she. Until then, it's my little rock star, stair surfer. I fell, it conquered. Go baby!

We've got a NUDGER!

At night my lower belly starts popping popcorn. The baby has been moving A LOT lately! It's been the greatest feeling ever. The other day I sneezed pretty hard and got a good little nudge from it. And last night was the most active night we have had so far! I could really feel it moving around a lot in there. Actually as I am typing this out, I'm sitting at my computer with one leg curled under me and the other pulled into my chest. I don't think baby likes this position too much cause it has been kicking me like crazy ever since I sat this way! So of course I leave my legs how they are because I LOVE BEING KICKED! I can't wait for Ghent to feel it kicking too. They say other people don't typically feel it kicking until after 20 weeks. So we have a little less than 4 weeks before he can join in on the fun. He's pretty excited for that too.

I'm so excited for Halloween. I'm bummed though because we don't have any Halloween plans. I think we are going to check out a corn maze, then go to a haunted amusement park (which I can't ride 1/2 the rides, but it's okay). But on Halloween itself, nothing. We don't even have costumes this year which is too bad, since it is my FAVORITE holiday ever. But these next few months are just great for holidays anyway. Halloween, my sis-in-law is having a baby, Thanksgiving, my Dad's b-day, then my B-day, Christmas, then our anniversary. So it will be a pretty fun and packed few months. But I am so excited! I just love this time of year!

Gender Ultrasound Scheduled!

November 15th I find out the gender of my little jellyfish...as long as it isn't shy about the goods. I'll be just a little over 19 weeks, so I am super excited. And I totally don't care what it is. Either does Ghent, we are just hoping healthy! But I think it's a girl and Ghent thinks it's a boy. So we will see who is right. We have a girls name picked out for sure, but we have no idea on boys names...so screwed. But my nurse is awesome. She totally reminded me of the highly caffeinated scientist lady from Meet the Robinsons. My doctor is great too!

I currently weigh more than I have EVER weighed in my life. And I am not even that far long. Jeggings are still my pant of choice and I recently bought the cutest pair of boots to compliment my jeggings and belly, which is still growing.

Babies heart beat clocked in at 165 today. I think I am starting to feel it move a little too. Usually when I am laying down, I can sometimes (rarely) feel a little nudge. Almost like popcorn popping...weirdest. I can't wait for a good solid KICK! Hi-Yah!

Baby bedding!

I have chosen! Ghent and I want gender neutral bedding for our baby because we plan on using it through all our babies. And this is just perfect!!! The picture looks a little more boyish, but if you read the reviews for it, a lot of people say it looks much more girlie than anticipated, but perfect for neutral bedding. I LOVE the colors!! Ghent likes it a lot too, but of course, he is more manly about the whole situation and doesn't squeal at everything adorable...go figure. But this got a 5-star squeal out of me. *gush*

So future baby, meet your bedding!!

No, I'm not having twins.

But it sure looks like it. So I thought it was time to start documenting belly shots, as I currently have a belly. Yikes. And all my pregnancy books tell me that I should barely be showing right now, especially since it's my first baby. WTF!!?! This is not barely showing.

So last night at my sister-in-law's (Jane) baby shower, tons of peeps were asking me how far along I was. My response "14.5 weeks"...silence..."Are you having twins?" NO! I'm just HUGE *sob*. It really was not that bad, I am being overly dramatic for sure. But twins? Then my aunt grabs my shirt, pulls it down so my plump girls are showing and announces "She's got a nice tight cleavage, it's big too!" My face turned the shade of the baby shower decorations...Bright PINK. Oh my hell. So apparently my cleavage is growing right along with that belly. Sooo good to know!

Ehhhh.....who knew that in pregnancy, your body is all of a sudden okay to talk about so openly and touched so freely? I did not, but now I do and I have a long time left so I better get used to it. Heh.

170 BPM

Just had my 12 week doctor appointment and little jellyfish has a good beat. 170 beats per minute! It's so magical to hear your growing baby's heart beat, especially since I can't feel it's movements yet. It's almost like a little "Hi, I'm in here and doing good, quit worrying so much!" Phew. Lady was ecstatic.

Jeggings!

Say wha? Have I been living under a rock? I have never heard of these things before, but they have a stretchy waist! I LOVE STRETCHY WAISTS. Especially since my waistline is ever increasing. I'm already growing out of my jeans, luckily a good friend who's done the belly thing 4 times told me of a little rubber band trick. So simple right? But my rubber bands are working  pretty hard right now. But tonight when I was at the mall looking for good belly shirts to hide my "is she pregnant or just fat?" belly, I came across JEGGINGS! Bum buh bum! Total comfort. They were made for those awkward baby bumps that don't fit in your jeans, but are still swimming in maternity. Match made in heaven, my belly was happy. I think tomorrow I will go buy 10 in every color! WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THESE?!?! I feel so out of the loop, especially after I googled them and realized how trendy and super cool they are right now. I return under my rock out of embarrassment.

 

So brilliant, right?!?!  

*claimer: My wonderful, amazing, super fly cousin CALIE MICHELLE told me about these and I laughed at her. I take back my giggles as I now own 3 of them. Forgive me, Calie and thank you for your wisdom. 

WA Coast Harleys!

Mom & Harley

Warning: Recentish happenings in one smooshed post.

It all started with our move from Texas to Spokane. A 3 day road trip with one cranky kitty, audio cd of Jim Butcher's Dresden series, Small Favor, 1 fast stop in Provo for some Cafe Rio, and fast forward; we made it to Spokane. It was a long trip.

So once we get here, my parents needed a Go car for their Harley trip. So we spent another 5 days driving around Washington coast following 2 Harleys. But it was Ghent's first ferry ride EVER, so it was totally worth the extra trip! Not to mention a free vacation and we got to hang out with the parentals.

Dad's real hair. ;)

We did stop at this amazing hat shop somewhere in there. And my dad and his friend mischievously convinced Ghent to try the world's HOTTEST F-ING Sauce, which landed him on the toilet pretty much the rest of the trip while my dad just laughed at his burning guts. "It feels like I just drank Napalm" was all he could choke out about the experience the next day. But we had a great time despite the Napalm coating his innards.

We also went to Forks, WA., which made me sick of the Twilight series instantly. I swear, if I hear one more thing about Bella shopping here, or Bella worked here, or here is where Bella and Charlie ate lunch...I may be forced to up-chuck my stomach contents all over the floor. But the people of Forks were really nice despite us trowing cheeze-itz in car windows to picky dogs who snubbed us.

And then we went to Mt. Rainier which was bloody cold and my flip flops just did not cut it. But neither did the 1920's lodge rooms where you could sit on the toilet and spit in the sink at the same time.

However, we did make our first baby purchase ever at said lodge. A fleece bear hat for baby on cold nights. But since baby is only 2 inches long currently, it could swim laps in this hat. So maybe next year when it's all finished growing important things, like vital organs.

Anyway, we saw tons of amazing, beautiful and breathtaking things. It really made me appreciate the outdoors again and it felt great to get some fresh northwestern air. I have missed dearly the northwest.

 

And of course, I had to ride the Harley, pregnant and all. But I only rode 30 minutes and the it was the safest and slowest part of the trip...So I am not completely irresponsible. And my Dad knows I am a sacred vessel carrying his grandchild, so he was extra cautious with me riding. Even if he referred to me as a holy Sphincter the rest of the trip. Ehh, go figure. 

 

HARDCORE & PREGNANT!

*BABY UPDATE*
Baby is doing great as far as I know, I go in for my 12 week appointment in 2 days and hopefully I can get another ultrasound because I am crazy obsessed with baby pictures.

Bye, Roxy.

Today my dog died. This was a puppy I researched, spent my entire high school career studying and obsessing over until I finally convinced my parents to buy one, a Papillon. She was the craziest dog ever and I LOVED her! We named her Roxy and she was neurotic, she barked all the time at everything, she would lay on the floor and go into spastic jolts under your feet or laying next to you for attention, she had the worst breath ever, she made you laugh everyday, she had a temper and she would growl at me every time I told her I loved her. She followed my mom and I everywhere, begged at the table, slept with me every night until I moved out of the house for college. She loved snuggling, thrived off of waking you up in the morning even when I would come back to visit, she was so perky and would run circles around the house. She was the most annoying dog, but she held such a GIANT place in my heart. And today she had to be put down. She went into kidney failure after 8 happy little years and I couldn't even say bye to her because I was miles away. I wish I could have snuggled her, kissed her and told her how much I loved her, even if she didn't have the energy to growl in response.

Natural Birth

So Hubby and I have been looking into our birthing options. I am the kind of person who likes to have my life neatly laid out in a time line, so even though I am not due until the beginning of April, the time line begins. I know for sure I want to have a natural birth and I know I would really like to have a water birth. But now I am thinking about just having a midwife and going totally granola for baby extraction. Like a midwife in my home with a rented birthing pool, my hubby, my mom, some Enya distraction and *bam* baby. That was the happy easy version. The real life version will most likely include a ton of profanity. Only problemo, we are moving in the next couple of months and I don't have a single idea as to where our final nesting ground will be. That doesn't fit in with my neat life time line. I am not enjoying this limbo state of location, but it is what it is. So where ever I end up, I will find the perfect midwife and start down the road that will eventually lead to this:

Now this is what I'm talking about. (Insert midwife, hubby, and mom)

Baby Beat.

It's my BABY!! 8 weeks exactly today and this mama and papa could not be more excited! We got to see and hear the heartbeat...was incredible. I seriously teared up because that was my baby... HEALTHY and beating beautifully. It even had it's little leg stretched out, totally chillin' in my uterus. I couldn't have been any happier in that moment. And it measured exactly, so April 4th bring me babies! (Baby)

Showing some leg. :) 

This is a good frontal image...and since it is the hubbies child too, I had to include his zombie love. This baby's first word will be "Bwaaaiiiiinsss". He will be so proud!

I CAN'T STOP LOOKING!!!

Kit Cat Jealous Much?

My cat is suuuuper envying my couch right now. It gets all the attention and smothering since Jellyfish took up residence in the uterus. I mean, I shuffle out of bed, somehow find my way to the couch, *plop* and hold my bladder until it's going to explode, only then do I shuffle to the bathroom, do my thang and head right back for the couch. Poor hubby has been left fending for himself as far as food and cleaning goes. I am so sickies that it's a great day if I shower! I do not know how these prego ladies with mad sickness still work jobs, clean their house, care for other kids and not vomit all over life. So Yumi ( el gato) has been feeling left out and tries to cuddle me like normal, but she lays her chunky behind right on my stomach. So she usually gets the boot instantly.

So we are moving at the end of this month. I'm so excited! Wherever we move, there had better be a Thai restaurant serving Massaman curry. I WANT CURRY SO BAD!!!

Behold, my Jellyfish.

6weeks and cooking up just right.

Saltines and Ale

Since I am fairly confident no one reads my blog, I feel safe posting this. We are expecting!!! Again. And this time Doctors are taking me seriously, listening to my concerns and getting me in for an early ultrasound. I'll be 6 weeks in 2 days, and in 2 days...ultrasound! I'll get to hear my little jellyfish's heartbeat! Though I am excited beyond expression and so grateful, I can't help but to think...were I still prego with my last jellyfish, we would have been finding out the sex and not just if the ticker worked. I know I haven't 100% moved on from my miscarriage, but I feel like I started this pregnancy out right since I found out after being only 3 weeks prego. I've been on prenatals since the miscarriage, I quit drinking all caffeine and got into the Doctor right away. And so far everything is going swimmingly. But this time around...Hello Sickness. And not just morning, but afternoon and especially night. I am on the constant verge of up-chucking. But honestly I would have it no other way. It means the jellyfish is growing and healthy. So you will not hear complaining from this lady because I'd rather be sick than lose my jellyfish again. But instead of eating for two, I am praying to the porcelain toilet for two.

There have been a few (mostly worried parents) telling me not to get my hopes up too high, because "it could happen again..." I know. But do I want to spend every waking hour petrified of losing my baby all over again, not really, no. So hubby and I decided to take it one day at a time. And just enjoy the days instead of worry for the future. But I'm confidant this pregnancy will be just fine. This jellyfish is strong.

Crazy at Church.

I think I have become the crazy lady at church who cries at all the wrong moments. Someone is giving a talk and everyone starts crying cause they are feeling the spirit while I sit there stoned face. Then like 20 ladies announce they are pregnant or their daughter is, ect. and I am suddenly extremely interested in my toes while tears start sliding down my cheeks. I've been reading about miscarriages and why they are so difficult to deal with. Besides the obvious reason. Because this lady is still having such a hard time with it. I can't help but get teary eyed when I see a big-bellied woman walk past me glowing with happiness. Not that I want to trip her and scoff as she looks up at me confused and distracted from her happiness, but please quit rubbing your healthy living baby swimming laps in your big tummy, into my tear-stained face. *drama queen* I know. So anyway I read that all women develop some form of sadness after giving birth to their baby, it is a natural part of the hormonal change. But when a woman miscarries or has a still birth, their bodies go through the hormonal changes and the actual birthing process. But while other women have their beautiful babies to snuggle when they feel sad, those who miscarry or have still born are left with the sadness that accompanies pregnancy, but they are faced with the truth that their baby is gone, dead and there is nothing to take away the pain, so it grows. At least that is what I gathered from everything I read. And it seems true in my case. It's been a month since my miscarriage and some people wonder why it still affects me so. Like they think I should be over it by now. I'm over the hardest part, admitting I lost it. I don't take pregnancy tests anymore to see if it was all in my head. Maybe its still there...but the single little pink line tells me I am just fooling myself. I know now I lost my baby. And no matter what I do, I will not get it back. There will be others, I know that, but it doesn't take away the pain of losing this one.

Nerd Alert; Meet Hatch

My AWESOME night elf rogue, Hatch. Level 80. Gear score 5266. *nerd translation*: powerful. She's my main and lately I have been running her through Icecrown Citadel, but haven't made it to the Lich King just yet. Anyway, tonight during the run I get my off-hand weapon in a drop. And I was SO SO sosososo excited that it is identical to my main hand weapon! I am now symmetrical and matchy matchy! This post may be my nerdy weakness but I remain totally girly and cool by caring if my armor and weapons match. WHICH THEY DO, SUCKAS!!! I even went to the barber and updated her hairdo so it matches her wicked cool ensemble.

Ah, thank you. *bows slightly*

Isn't she awesome? (imagine a breathy voice)

Since it's Father's Day, I would just like to say I have the best Dad ever. No seriously. EVER. And the best husband too. So tonight in tribute to Father's Day, I made wienerschnitzels. Not to toot my own horn but those snitzels were good. Yummy good. Husband was pleased with me. And when we first started dating I couldn't cook spaghettios. So I've done some serious improving over the last *gasp* 5 MONTHS...almost.

Here's one more look of my matchy matchy rogue, Hatch, cause I know you can't get enough of her! Sometimes I turn on WOW just to admire how bloody sweet she is. *sigh* Gorgeous, GORGEOUS axes.

Empty.

Sometimes I convince myself I might be pregnant again. I want to be. Which, I know sounds so strange because all pregnant women are counting down the days until they are un-pregnant. But becoming un-pregnant too soon leaves me wanting it again so badly. It seems odd, we weren't even trying and I didn't want it, but as soon as it happened, all I could think about was how much I wanted that baby. And now I don't have one.

And every other woman I know is pregnant or just recently had a baby. It seems so unfair that I had to lose mine. It hurts when they complain about their big bellies or that their baby is kicking their ribs, or they have morning sickness, because all I can think about is how they are so lucky to still have their babies, when I lost mine way too soon. I know I will have my chance at being pregnant again and delivering a healthy baby, but right now...it just aches.

Too close, too close.

Time to get personal. Maybe too personal. And I might delete this post later, who knows. But I want to be thin again. SO so badly. I hate the way my body has changed in just the last 4 -5 months. I gained a lot of weight and got pregnant, lost the pregnancy and am left over with this weird misshapen body. Like I am supposed to be pregnant still but I am not, so why do I still look like this? And I want to change it. I want to go back to the way I was last summer or even early winter. But to do that I would need to diet. And anyone who really knows me, knows dieting is not an option. But my body has become so abnormal that I feel like I have no other option.

Lost Jellyfish and Handcuffs.

Legit. I had a miscarriage the day before we left for our cruise. So the jellyfish is no longer. I am heartbroken, I only knew about it for a little over a week, but mama got super attached to her jellyfish. It was so hard to watch it happening, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. So I just bawled my eyes out every time I flushed parts of Jellyfish down the toilet. It seemed so unceremonious to flush what was once a baby growing inside of me. And maybe that is why I cried so hard. But I'm slowly getting better each day and I know we will have another jellyfish soon, one that will go full term and one I can actually hold in my arms. And that will be a beautiful day. But until then I just keep working on moving on.

On a much happier note; the cruise was amazing, the beaches were incredible and I am sporting a tan. Yes, I am not, in fact, a vampire, despite what has been said. Husband and I had an amazing time cruising the Caribbean, eating tons of delicious food, gaining weight and basking in the sunlight.

There was however, one slight wardrobe mishap.

The Hat.

 I. Love. My. Husband.

This hat, and the fact he bought it, is one of the million reasons he makes me heart melt.

      Kissing my frog Prince.                 Is this not cute or what?

                   A honeymoon is not complete without handcuffs.

We also saw the ancient Mayan ruins of Tulum, but ditched our tour guide as he was horribly long winded and played in the ocean, shorts and all. I could not believe the number of Iguanas living there. Although, the scenery is stunning.... so if the rent is free, why not? I hope we get to go back again someday, maybe even see the ruins of Chichen Itza again. But next time I am bringing a bathing suit. That weather is scorching. Too bad Ghent forgot his old man straw hat though, he made it look so damn good. We really would have stuck out as tourists with the sunburns, cruise bus tour stickers and old man straw hat. Anyway, just bragging. We had an AWESOME time! And the food...I mentioned that already. No need to go into it more. Yum.

However, el gato, Yumi was not happy we left her for 8 days. She was in good hands though. Yet she was still MAD MAD MAD and she let us hear about it for 48 hours straight.

 Meowza.

I just tinkled in my pants a little.

Birth Control Failure.

Here is the latest news. I think the image speaks for itself. But if that is not enough evidence, then take the Doc's news: Positive. So it's official. We are having a baby! Was this an accident? You bet it was! Let me break this down. Handsome man and I got married 4 months ago. We leave for our honeymoon in 2 days to go cruise the Caribbean. We just got news that we are 8 weeks prego and had no idea. But props to the pregnancy because here, we thought I was just getting lazy and sleeping all the time. Now I have a reason as to why the laziness kicked in. But that means we were married for a grand total of 2 months before the baby fertilization process occurred. As my sis-in-law said earlier today: Birth control Fail and God prevails. So there it is. We are going to be proud parents in about 7 months. Holy cow.

So I peed on my little stick, ran outside of the bathroom and hid in the living room for exactly 3 minutes, then Ghent and I snuck back into the bathroom to witness the results. Ash: "Oh, that's, um...." Ghent: "YOU ARE PREGNANT!!!!" <-- Yes, said with 4 exclamation points. Nervous? You bet we are. But more than anything we are so excited and feeling so blessed. So bring on the big belly and stretchy pants! We can't wait!

Here is what my little jellyfish looks like now:

Isn't it cute? *Gush*

Squishy and Unruly Tenants

Before I forget. Here are my Day 1 pictures for P90X. They like you to take pictures on day 1, day 30, day 60 and day 90 so you can compare your results. We are on week 2 right now and husband and I are already showing some great results. But I'm not showing pictures until day 30! Oooh baby! I am super excited! And also super bummed I let myself get this squishy in the first place. *sob sob*

I'm going to take a second to gloat. Ghent and I booked a 7 day cruise on the Carnival! We are going to the Cayman Islands, then Montego Bay, Jamaica and last Cozumel, Mexico! And here is where I get rude and rub it in even more...we booked a suite with VIP passes. So we are the first ones on the boat, the first ones off, no lines for food and we get in to shows before everyone else, not to mention a much bigger room and balcony. *Gush* that felt so good to just brag without reservation. We leave on May 23rd. Lady is on cloud 9 and floating through life right now.

Also, meet the tenants who never pay rent:

I think they are too adorable to give the boot though. I found them in a box on my porch and instantly fell in love and just had to adopt them and find them all homes. Mama cat had other plans though as she despises me! I mean I am shocked she let me take this picture without shredding my eyes open. But she's just too pretty to be a stray! And then sadness occurred. Mama cat moved her precious little ones someplace else. I guess she thought I was going to hurt them. I tried to help the 2 she left behind, but one would not suck from a bottle. I could not let the little thing starve, so I hunted down the mama cat in my apartment complex and personally delivered her remaining 2 kittens to her on a furry blanket. Oh she was mad at me. I want to help them, I called the shelter, but they said they would just put them all down since the mama cat was not a people person, and they had too many kittens to devote enough time to bottle feeding after they killed the mom. So they slaughtered my shelter plan. What happened to the animal shelters that were free of euthanization? I mean, is Texas really just a chubby animal murdering state with no regard for the creatures on this earth? There are a million strays in my neighborhood too. People should not be allowed to adopt a pet if they are too mindless or poor to get the thing neutered or spayed. It just makes me sick.

Well some more unfortunate news: I broke a nail today, it was enough to frustrate me that I felt the need to write about it.

P90X

Today the mail man brought me a very exciting package. P90X is now in my possession and scheduled to begin on Monday. I am so excited! I always thought people who claimed marriage makes them gain weight were making up excuses. And they are. But I will admit since I have been married I have gained weight. But it is not from being married, it's just from eating unhealthy, not exercising and sitting on me bum. But the bum sitting and fast food munching ends today! I am eating exactly what the nutrition manual says, I am working out exactly how the exercise DVDs say and I am going to see REAL results. Hopefully see some amazing results in 30 days cause that is when we leave for our cruise and I would hate to be looking as soft and squishy as I am now. Ghent is doing P90X too, so at least we can help motivate each other when it becomes impossibly difficult. So our P90X package came today, we went and bought a chin-up bar, super nice yoga mats, power stands, and resistance bands. We are all set to go. And we are feeling really enthusiastic about it too. Day 1 photos will be posted Monday so I can track my results!

We also went tanning today. We went for 10 minutes on the regular beds and now look like lobsters...10 MINUTES! How did that happen? I fried my boobies. I think I will be running around braless for the next couple days. Youch.

Super tan and super toned here I come.

Nursery Birth Control.

Husband and I have been having baby cravings. I know we've only been married for a month and a half, but those adorable little people are everywhere and it's making us want one too. Waiting for a year was looking near impossibly hard to do. Until today. At church they asked us to watch the kiddos in Nursery. That would be ages 18 months to 3 years, we thought, no problemo. Problemo. Lady doesn't know a thing about little kiddos. And crying baby was too much for this lady. Hubby on the other hand was all pro with the kiddos. He was down on his rump doing puzzles with them and keeping them all entertained. I was in the corner rocking back and forth biting my nails. Not really. But I just stayed on snack duty. And cleaned up smooshed cheerio snacks which were loving the carpet. I need some lessons on motherhood, or I need to start babysitting friend's kids (if I can get someone to entrust me with their little gems) Hehe. I'm pretty much one of those over-hollywoodized ladies who hold the baby far far away from them looking like they were about to jump from a plane, while cute baby pukes with awesome projection dousing scared women in vomit. That is me exactly. Not saying I got puked on, just trying to portray the terrible awkwardness I have around children, that when watched on a movie makes the viewers squirm in their seats with awkward discomfort.

Ta daa.

Birth Control- 1
Babies- 0

However, I am gaining weight faster than being on weight gain via 6000 + calories a day.

Outcome: One crabby, squishy lady gaining weight on salad and just getting pissed off about it. But if I go off the pill, I would get planetaryly fat. So I deal with the new squish and cry to husband.

Bronze Drake.

I've been saving my gold for a while to purchase the training to ride the epic flying mounts. I finally bought it yesterday! Check out my new bronze drake mount! (this is not my actual character, just a picture of the bronze drake) Isn't it gorgeous? I just want to scratch under his chin and cuddle with him. Instead my character Hatch gets to fly him all over the world. Not fair.Lately we have taken to flying storm peaks in search of the Time Lost Drake. Husband is determined to own it's reins. Problem is, it's nearly impossible to find. Nor is it even spawned very frequently. Hence the name; Time Lost. You waste a lot of time looking for it's ugly hide. 

As for election results, H.D. Bailey did not win. It was a huge disappointment to us all. Hopefully he can find something else to do now. Actually, I hope we all do. 

The last 2 days have been amazingly lazy though. Ghent and I have finally been able to just hang out and spend time together. But I think we are starting to get bored now. There are only so many video games, books and board games we can play. Not to mention there is NOTHING to do in this part of Texas. The shopping mall is depressingly pathetic. It makes me not even want to blow money. Sad for me, happy for husband. So I have taken up internet shopping. My new sea foam shoes came in the mail today along with a pair of cream lace tights. Wicked cute! The secret to my success in securing a stylish pair of shoes is asking hubby for an expensive pair. When he says "Erm, no way." Then I go in for the kill and ask for the pair I originally wanted. Which happen to be significantly cheaper. He can't refuse a great price. Voila! A happy compromise.

Election Day.

Today is the day we have all been waiting for. *drum roll* H.D. Bailey is (hopefully) elected as chief justice and bulldozes Josh Morris to the ground. No harsh feelings Morris (sending negative vibes your way), it's nothing personal. Or is it? Buah hahaha. 


So we will find out tonight on the 10 o'clock news.


Fingers crossed, toes crossed, praying like mad and sweating like piggies. Tonight may be a good night to wear deodorant. If I have any...


Perhaps I'll break out the razor and shave my legs for the occasion.

As for other piggies in life, my scale is broken. Not that I super care because I am not one who weighs myself obsessively *depending on whose opinion counts* but it's just a minor inconvenience. I don't know if it's really broken, it's just that I thought I had gained about X amount of pounds but zee scale says I've lost X amount on pounds. So basically all that weight I put on, thank you birth control for that weight gain, is now gone. Poof. I have no idea how it happened, but at least I am back down to my normal healthy weight. That also means that my fabulous birth control boobies have deflated. -Rather unfortunate.


Update on the shoe situation: Though I have yet to find a pair of flats I am crazy about, the husband let me buy a pair I was slightly fond of along with some crazy cute tights. I consult him when I want to buy something as I have this mad shopping problemo. Lady likes retail therapy. It's a good system we have going on. 

Here is what I am most scared to admit to anyone:
Flashbacks. I've been having them again, I've been disassociating, I'm getting scared again. And I need them to stop, but I don't know how to make them go away. 


Bring on the retail therapy.

.................

Melancholy of the Shoe.

Shoes, shoes, shoes. You are letting me down. I am searching for the perfect pair amongst all of these common, I'm not too terribly thrilled about you kinds of shoes. What happened to the days when they made to die for shoes? At this point I am willing to part with 100-200 dollars just to find a pair of shoes that creates a reaction such as, "GASP! What adorable shoes, I must, must have them." I am looking for a comfy, simple, yet envious flat...that doesn't exist!! To hell with all other shoes, I can walk by you without a second glance. But will Mr. Right please present yourself to me under a spotlight, with a choir hallelujahing in the background. Cheesy Vegas lights, show me the way! I just want, need and pine for the perfect pair of shoes! *sob, wail, gnash* All dramatics aside: I WANT THOSE SHOES NOW! Otherwise I will be forced to go back to my Seattle roots and wear sandals with socks year round.

Le Wedding

 

I'll provide one picture for now. But it's official, we are married!!!

Bridal Shower ♥

Today my fake cousins threw me a bridal shower! IT WAS PERFECT. Seriously, they did such a good job and quite a few people showed up. I got a ton of great gifts. It was even cooler than my birthday. 

Though most gifts were kitchen related and I'm not so hot in the kitchen. *cough* hint hint. One of my favorite presents is pictured left. A board with lyrics to our song. Awe. So tender. My other favorite is a huge pair of pearl earrings, gotta love pearls. I got lots of cook books, kitchen supplies, gift cards, checks, lingerie (rawr), and knick knacks for the house. I also got a gift card to the spa!! Holler!! Can you say wax the woo cause that's what I'm gonna do! (too much information?) Also they asked future hubby and I questions about each other. We dominated. I mean we both got 100% so that's saying something. And the way he answered the questions was so adorable. I seriously got so lucky with him. :) I honestly never thought there was someone out there who would treat me so good, love me so unconditionally (yes, even on my birth control mood swings) and who listens to me so intently. Anyway, I am blessed. The only one who didn't seem to have a good time was Yumi. She was pretty bored which surprised me...I thought she would be all over the wrapping paper and gifts. Can't you just see the pure excitement in her eyes??